After Trauma: Caregivers Need to Listen to Family and Friends

By Janie Smith, Author & Founder of HOPE Beyond Trauma


How many of us are great at solving someone else’s trauma and issues, but challenges in our own lives have us stumped? Quick answer…all of us!

We can become so overwhelmed and out of sync that we need others assistance in getting the help we need. Sometimes we are too close to the issues to understand what is really happening around us. Maybe our energies are completely used up which compounds our issues even more. We don’t know which way to turn.

This happened to me on several of occasions. I couldn’t find my way out of depression from my caregiving duties.  It was my family that noticed that I was not acting normally. I was no longer making good decisions.  It was an extremely difficult decision for them to realize that I needed more help than they could deliver and needed professional help.

My thought processes just were not working because I was too entrenched in my own trauma to see it. I knew things were off course but I didn’t know how to fix it. Of course becoming aware took a lot longer than it takes me to write these few paragraphs. The process was a slow gradual decline over a period of time.

My family had to “take the bull by the horns” and make the decision I needed professional help because it was beyond my awareness and scope of understanding at the time. They knew they too did not have the resources within them to resolve the trauma I was facing.

We are here on this earth to help each other, which means the “help road” goes in two directions. We need to listen to their concerns even though we may not agree.  I had to put my pride aside and allow them to help me AND to get professional help.

When we let others help us, it does not mean we are weak, it means we are wise enough to know we cannot and are not supposed to do it all. When we allow others to help us, it builds our families and friends self esteem. It builds a trust and a bond that holds them closer to our hearts. They have the opportunity to learn from us they do not have to be strong all the time. Getting professional help is okay too.

Being able to give AND receive is important to our healthy mental, physical, spiritual and emotional well being.  It builds strong and healthy relationships that can move you and your social network forward to the next level.



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